Phase 1
Get Out of Drinking FREE
Have you ever heard the saying "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time"? Well, ironically that's how I feel about my journey to better health. I've taken little baby steps over the years and have finally rounded the corner to the final phase of my 8 year wellness and weight loss journey.
Here is phase 1~
I am a classic yo-yo dieter. I will do a diet and lose a bunch of weight but then slowly slip back into my old eating habits and put the weight back on (and more). I used to think I had very little self control when it came to telling myself "no". I honestly said no to NOTHING. I ate whatever sounded good on a menu, and would eat the entire entree - plus dessert. I baked and cooked and entertained, eating whatever my heart desired. Chocolate was my kryptonite. I was an absolute sugar-aholic. People laugh but it really is a thing.
Eight years ago, I challenged myself to say "no" to something and stick with it. What did I say no to? Alcohol. {insert wine-mommy gasp here}. In 2011 I discovered I had kidney cancer. After my surgery where they removed the tumor and part of my right kidney. The doctor told me I should abstain from consuming alcohol for 6-12 months to give my kidney a chance to properly heal. The thought of not drinking for 6 months felt do-able since I had given it up during both my pregnancies, but it still didn't sound fun. I was definitely going back to drinking after my 6 month check-up!
After 6 months alcohol free, I was given the green light to start drinking again - if I wanted to. It's funny how a clear head can play tricks on you. Suddenly, drinking didn't sound too important to me so I thought I would extend my sobriety to the 1 year mark. One year cancer and alcohol free came and went, and it was then that I decided I didn't want to go back. It was like standing outside a frat house after a crazy bender weekend - I really didn't want to go back in. Ever.
OK, maybe not EVER but definitely not right now. 1 year sober gives you a lot of clarity and just about as much regret. Nights with a little too much wine would come back to haunt me time and time again. Cringeworthy moments, hungover mornings, poor choices - these things were front and center in my clear head. I ran with a fast crowd. Our circle of friends loved to party. We had cabins, snowmobiles, friends with boats and lakefront homes - every weekend was an event and just about every weekday involved a glass of wine or 2 as well. I realized I simply couldn't maintain that lifestyle anymore.
The first year sober was the hardest, but thankfully my "Get out of drinking FREE" card from my doctor helped. It's amazing how grown adults can be SUCH pushers of alcohol. After the first year sober, my friends had come to accept the fact that I no longer drank. The biggest challenge for me now was how alcohol was romanticized in my head. Gone were the days of wine tasting events with girlfriends. No more romantic dinners at nice restaurants with a delicious bottle of wine to share. Or how about that margarita in Mexico or bucket of beers on the beach? The media does a great job of painting a picture of how alcohol should fit into your life. What they don't show is the pounding headache the next day. I stayed the course and have recently celebrated 8 years alcohol free.
This was the first of many small changes that were to come over these past 8 years. If there's one thing I have realized, it's that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for. I have often told myself that maybe someday I will drink again. Someday I may sit on my porch with my glass of wine and toast the sunset. Today is just not that day.
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